Lol 11 months later...

Given that I haven't written anything in a long time, I figured it was time for an update...

As I noted while I was writing my master's thesis: Life is like a Sine wave. I noticed a period of about 4 years last time, and this time I've noticed a period of about 4 months. Interesting.

Among the highs in the past year:

Found a girlfriend
She moved in
We are in love
Reaffirming that science is real but metascience is also real
Contemplating the relationships among 3, 6, and 9
Started to notice numerology in life
Got a new job teaching physics at one of the best high schools in the city
Practiced ukulele for a while, can now play simple chord songs (it's quite easy if you put in a little bit of effort)
Still haven't had a cigarette despite frequent offers (1 year + 8 months)
Learned the secrets to cooking good Chinese food (garlic, ginger, fermentation, *rice wine*, *sauce*)
Learned to genuinely appreciate cigarette restriction laws in the US
Learned to appreciate Chinese people for not wasting the best parts of dead animals
Learned to appreciate American people for not using the horn in a car just because it's there
Made significant progress in learning Mandarin -- reading Chinese children's fairytales lets me feel like I'm learning more about the culture and practicing at the same time :]
Continued Qigong practice nearly every day
Completed five 34+ hour fasts (which feels really weird to say given how many days I haven't fasted)
Experimenting with frequent (shooting for daily) 12+ hour fasts -- noticing positive impact

Among the lows:

Learned lesson(s) about female companionship that I should have already known
Set aside self-improvement goals due to life pressure -- notice slight decline in mindfulness
Realized that cigarettes are probably a source of just as much greenhouse gas as factories in China
Still wish there could be half as many vegetarian options in China as there are in the US
Still haven't finished any new C. Masta tracks
^^ Partially due to constant noise pollution
Reaffirmed that most people still lack insight, many lack foresight, but most are good on hindsight

Neutrals:

Discovered that I am extremely fertile after accidentally getting my girlfriend pregnant
Decided to have the baby (currently ~11-12 weeks in)
Learned that the first trimester of pregnancy is hell for all parties involved, but it gets better
Got readdicted to coffee after discovering that, like everything else, it's also cheaper on Chinese internet despite being significantly more expensive in shops (quality ~0.75x Starbucks, still available for less than 1/2 the price of dirt-cheap coffee (quality ~0.1x Starbucks)!)
Discovered why Chinese people can't live without Chinese food (MSG is in everything)
Reaffirmed that we are, indeed, animals
Reaffirmed that it's actually kind of a luxury to have all the food we want every day
Reaffirmed that gloaty/arrogant/selfish people are still a joke but must be handled appropriately

There's some other stuff, but that's all I feel like typing now. Maybe I'll make another post next year :P

Peace, yo.

On the brighter side of life

On the brighter side of life, this blog is finally eligible for Google AdSense, which was the whole original point of starting it the first time I started applying for 'big boy' jobs, but I don't really care enough anymore to set it up. Perhaps I will next week when I have some more time to kill.

Perhaps, though, I am also becoming more mature.

Lol, maybe.

I should probably go to bed now.

Later.

Just for the record...

The good news is that I'm about to officially receive my Master's degree, just about a year after I earned it. Life is pretty good right now otherwise, too, but I figured that I should post the uncensored version of the write-up that I submitted in its entirety so that the thoughts don't go to waste.

If you've been following me, you might think after reading this something like: "Hey, this complainer complained about being dumped in his last post, but he's really the wrong one because he cheated on his girlfriend." To that, let me defend myself in saying that I had only been calling this woman my girlfriend to make myself sound cool -- she actually dumped me two years ago, likely due to the severe acne on my face that magically appeared for the TWO WEEKS that I was in China to visit her. In my defense, though, we were still talking occasionally, and in fact she was the one that suggested I get a job in China about two weeks before I landed the job that I have today, for better or for worse. Further, the fiasco that occurred one year ago was the only play I got in all seven of my pathetic years at Mizzou, not counting a fat chick that I made out with once in drunken pity who then threw up on my bedroom floor, so, naturally, I was wanting it pretty badly.

Anyway, that was probably a little too much information, but now at least it's out there and I feel like I've accomplished something... (Lol I should actually probably be playing Pokémon Ultrasun, but for whatever reason it no longer excites me as it used to... I haven't even bought it yet, wth.)

Also, I'm not nearly as unhappy as this makes me sound XD
Just for the record, you know.


Here is the letter:

As if we weren't already detached enough from eachother (which I’m told is actually two words) following the advent of the internet in the butthurt world of the early 21st century, as of recently, a compliment can be called sexual harassment and, along with vocalizing your opinion, can get you fired from the job that you likely didn’t even want in the first place. In addition, students are both so lazy and so grade-hungry that they’ll ignore the simplest of rules all semester, then try to ruin their TA’s teaching career over a few points (that they probably would have scored regardless) at the end.

I suppose being let go from a mediocre existence is a good thing. In my case, it was.

I learned a lot from my four-or-so hours of brainwashing; among the most interesting things I learned is that the belief in soul mates is an “erroneous belief that spiritual love transcends age.” Gee, NASDTEC Academy, I guess that means my kindergarten students are off-limits, yea? I’m so glad I spent those hours of my life being corrected! Someone really needs to contact the keepers of the Great Firewall of China and tell them to unblock that webpage.

In all seriousness, though, this process has been going on for the greater part of the past year and, as a constant reminder of how sad and lonely I was (actually more so by my parents than the University, who insisted on making sure the notion that I wouldn’t succeed in life without my Master’s degree (because we all know, of course, that money == success) was always in the back of my mind), finally convinced me that the only person I really ever needed or will need is myself. I’d love to say that the training courses made me a better person, but I had enough ‘decency’ to let women walk all over me before I spent those hours watching college students make-out and hating myself. From it all, though, perhaps the most important thing that I have learned is that it’s okay to ignore a text message. In addition to encoding baby-making machinery, the some-94-million more base pairs in the genome of a woman, compared to in that of a man (according to the numbers on Wikipedia), apparently also *often* cause them to be more spiteful, dishonest, and mistrusting – traits which, I’ve realized, while certainly may be helpful in ensuring the safety of their child, are not really attractive to me. That being said, an unnamed woman called Adele, introduced to me in the NASDTEC training, apparently got her life messed up way worse than mine by a male student, so I suppose it goes both ways, and I should remain grateful. In my defense, the student that started this ordeal is less than three years younger than me, while this normally appears to only be an issue with students around eighteen years old or younger. In any case, thanks to my college experience, I think I will continue growing on my own and be okay with it. That is, I will never let a student (or anyone else, for that matter) seduce me again, and you may be happy to hear that, despite the numerous temptations that have tried to grab ahold of me while teaching in China, I have successfully evaded all potential sexual/romantic encounters thus far. Not just with students, but with everyone! Whoot!

Life is quite different on the other side of the world. According to the females that I knew, I was pretty awkward before, and not responding at all when a female student calls me handsome (it actually happens sometimes), as instructed by one of the online workshops, surely isn’t going to change that. I guess “thank you” is okay, though. Believe it or not, having only been teaching in China for about four months, I have already met two middle-school to high-school-aged students who live with one of their teachers. My direct superior has told me more than once that it is okay to meet students outside of class, one of my colleagues recently got engaged to a former student, and both male and female colleagues continue to ask me which of our coworkers is my ‘type’, a question which, thanks to my conditioning, I am still not comfortable answering. Despite being surrounded by these ethical no-no’s, my moral compass isn’t pointing me in the opposite direction. I do, however, understand now that it can be difficult to maintain a normal instructor-student relationship when there is additional interaction outside of the classroom. Given this, I think I will continue to avoid the aforementioned interactions, despite what others may think or tell me. Thanks, college.

Given Mizzou’s status as a journalism school, I only deleted half of what I had already written a couple of weeks ago, and given that I still may not have met the criteria for a personal, professional workplace policy, a bulleted list of the most relevant policies I have resolved for myself if/when I return to the US follows:

·        Respect people*

·        It’s okay to ignore a message*

·        Don’t ever threaten a student’s grade in academia, even jokingly

·        Keep words and eyes to one’s self*

·        Imagine all women as ugly and married

·        Remember that only one’s self can create the feeling of happiness*

·        Giving students or colleagues one’s cellphone number, despite recommendations, is actually a bad idea

·        Don’t talk to colleagues unless it’s about work

·        Don’t talk to students unless it’s about class

·        Don’t ever say anything sexual

·        Don’t talk to women at all

·        If one does need to talk to a colleague, respect them*

·        Acknowledge that everyone is at least a little bit stressed and don’t say things that might upset them*

·        (lol this is not in the least bit funny)

·        Make money

·        Want more money, no matter how much you have already

·        Hate yourself

·        Hate your life

·        Die

·        (Alternate path 1: Remove one’s self from this madness)

·        (Alternate path 2: Stay and try to make a living speaking publicly about how bogus this shit is)

Given this list of things, I’m not sure I do want to return to the US to work. Luckily, the list may be slightly more relaxed in most other countries – even China. Yes, that China. For example, social media apps are so intertwined with everyday life that middle- and high-school teachers commonly send their students assignments via said apps here, so, naturally, the smartphone contact info might be crossed out, but the okayness of ignoring messages would then probably be set in boldface. Then again, we wouldn’t want to make anyone too upset… Items in the list marked with an asterisk are * applicable everywhere in the world.

I hope people stop being so butthurt in the USA someday. I also hope that someday I’ll learn to take things like this a little bit more seriously, but, then again, hopefully I won’t need to.

Thank you for your time and for letting me graduate,

[Name omitted for (lolwth reason idk)]

Keep in mind that I didn't submit this in its entirety.

But, anyway, there you have it. I've been having a lot of other cool thoughts lately, but I've already posted most of them, in some form or another, on social media.

Thanks for getting to the end (I think). Later.

52 is 26 times 2

It's been almost four months since my last blog post, and today I became an official authorized resident of the Red country (but I still have to get my visa extended tomorrow before I'm good for the rest of the year).
I've wanted to post something scathing a few times since then, but each time, after taking some time to cool down, I decided against it.
Now I feel like I should do a mind dump just in case I forget the important things.
Luckily for you, I have been thinking of some heavy stuff, so you might enjoy reading it.
This dump includes the stuff that you won't find on my social media; some because I wanted to save face, some because I didn't want to be a downer, and some just because it didn't really fit.

Roughly in temporal sequence:

1. Landed in China for the third time
2. Signed my first work contract; got my first real job; pays significantly more than being a chemistry graduate student
3. Overwhelmed by all the women that like me -- I wish I was used to this
4. Overwhelmed by how cheap everything is
5. Almost got hit in the head by a falling mango and realized that I am in paradise
6. Got a single loft apartment in the city center for less than I have ever paid for housing with shitty to pretty good roommates

7. Visited the woman that I intended to marry, my first real girlfriend, in a city about 70 km away
8. Didn't go in for the initial hug/kiss
9. Got in the back seat of a taxi, tried to talk to her, watched her go through her phone and message people
10. Took her to overpriced lunch, didn't make a comment about it being overpriced
11. Got dragged around a shopping mall for an hour in lieu of dropping her off and going home
12. Watched her try on clothes, told her she looked pretty, was secretly glad when she didn't like any of them
13. Went in for the goodbye hug, apparently made her uncomfortable
14. Watched her taxi drive away
15. Walked back to the train station, rode back to Fuzhou
16. Almost made a dream connection on the long walk back from the wrong train station, but phone glitched and the contact was lost
17. Haven't seen my first real ex-girlfriend since, got dumped on Chinese Valentine's Day by WeChat message
18. Realized that she had been lying to me for months, probably had another lover
19. Decided to try a little harder at work
20. Discovered that Chinese women send really weird mixed signals (I guess this is normal)
21. Realized that I don't want a woman anyway unless she is perfect
22. Found one that was perfect
23. Then she moved to a new city with her boyfriend

24. Stopped masturbating nearly every day
25. Now masturbate less than once per week
26. It feels fine

(lol, did not intend for that to be nearly as long as it ended up being, but I guess I needed it... anyway...)

27. Somehow became cheaper than I already was after adapting to new currency

28. Passed one year without a shower, six months without a cigarette, a lot less alcohol (around seven to less than one drink per week), and no Cannabis
29. Stopped drinking coffee; used to have multiple cups per day, now less than two per month
30. It feels fine

(I still drink plenty of tea, in case you were wondering)

31. Noticed that people rarely wash with soap after using the bathroom, and that's okay, however perhaps that's how I have contracted two colds already
32. First Chinese cold only lasted three days from onset to remission (four days to complete remission), despite warnings of horrible, multi-week sickness (the second day was pretty harsh, though)
33. Second Chinese cold also lasted only three days (five days to complete remission); symptoms and duration both considerably more mild than natives' despite inadequate sleep for the first two of the three days

(suck it, western medicine)

34. Genuinely started missing my parents
35. ... But not that much
36. Still feels like paradise
37. Despite what most people say, solitude does not feel the least bit lonely to me; in fact, I prefer it
38. And I still don't really want a girlfriend (unless she is perfect)

39. Noticed that the Chinese Zodiac is much more accurate in China than it is in the US
40. Noticed that perhaps the true Zodiac depends on both the Solar and Lunar calendars

41. Noticed many weird coincidences that would have passed right on by if I hadn't had an eye open to them
42. Noticed that Chinese people tend to call everything in China Chinese even if it is not unique to China
43. Noticed that surprisingly few people can read ancient script

44. Very much appreciate the US for its abundance of non-smoking laws
45. Not sure if there are more inconsiderate people or just more people; probably latter, as there are a lot of extremely considerate people, too
46. Noticed that many Chinese have trouble thinking critically; could also just be because there are more people

47. Got a supremely clutch part-time job teaching Kindergarten -- extremely grateful -- now I'll surely save more than some of my higher-paid friends in the US :] (though the jury's still out on whether I'll ever actually need it)

48. Noticed that way too much Chinese food has MSG in it
49. Tried many new and exciting fruits and vegetables, the most notable of which are listed below:

 Orange and Yellow Persimmon -- Fruit of the Gods
 Jujube -- God's cherry
 Pomelo -- Mamma Citrus
 Goji Berry (dried) -- Sunscreen
 Lotus Root -- Buddha's sweet potato
 Wild Banana -- Behold, the phallus!
 Daikon Radish -- This phallus is bigger, but it doesn't show off
 Cushaw Squash -- Is this a pumpkin or not? I guess it doesn't matter, but it's damn good!

50. After practicing my trusty Ocarina of Time for at least a few minutes almost every day for the past two months or so, I'm getting noticeably better
51. After practicing my Chinese for at least a few minutes every day, I'm still noticeably bad

52. Still love teaching, and apparently getting a little better at that, too! When your work rarely feels like work, you can learn from it, AND it pays you well, that pretty much means you're a great success!

I could keep on going, but I think I'll just leave on that note :]

Bits of stuff

Today I sold my friend. In about nine days, I will leave the United States of America. I think that means it's time.

Here is Mufasa before we left. I also think he will be very happy with his new home and am grateful to have been able to give him a good one.

Since I haven't posted in almost two months, I figured it was time to do another thought dump:

1. Bard <> Bird
2. Fermentation == firm intent over time
3. Old habits die hard if you let them.
4. Similar to mainstream scholars of the four logical arts (geometry, arithmetic, astrology, and harmonics), mainstream scholars of the three reasoning arts (grammar, literature, and prose) also too often argue over petty facts. In the latter schools, said facts are not measured.
5. In any case, change does require dissent.
6. The compressed remains of Earth's past (i.e., oil) are sacrificed for self-loathing and material possessions. In the meantime, burning them pollutes the air. Kind of sounds like a bad deal to me, actually.
7. The sky is a great time keeper.
8. Insects follow the light, too, but their brains aren't as big as humans'.
9. Insects know that plants are good sources of nutrition. As a result, they are also often good sources of nutrition.
10. Man makes really bright lights, but his lights don't usually enlighten.
11. Following the God light is first a matter of discerning it from the pollution.
12. Happiness is not a molecule, but for those of that school, serotonin is a much better candidate than dopamine.

13. The first one stopping you from anything is your self.

Life in the material world

I recently posted a quote to Facebook from Manly P. Hall:

The learned man controls the stars; the ignorant man is controlled by them.

Believing myself to be well on the way to enlightenment, I ignored astrology -- one of the four great mathematical sciences -- and was, indeed, controlled by the stars.

Luckily for me, the decision that I made has the potential to be good, however it also has the potential to lead me into a whirlpool of despair. We'll see what happens.

Mission Statement:

To grow as a human being and denizen of Earth, providing help to others and living within my means.

[Doesn't look good on a job application]

It would be really nice if people that judged you had the gall to send you an e-mail and say so. A phone call appears to be too much to ask in the land of materialism. Then again, I didn't really want to talk.

I have learned that it does pay to complain sometimes, but it's much better to take action.

People do share real connections sometimes. Cherish those times.

I wonder some times where the boundary is between too much and not enough.

Maybe humans are inherently unclean.

If babies are unclean, dunking them in church water probably doesn't help any.

The winding road to wisdom is more bountiful than the path of least resistance.

Maybe God was into eugenics.

It's funny that...

Before I get to the meat, I'd like to bump these quotes of the day (which may actually be considered the meat by at least one of the four of you reading this):

The learned man controls the stars; the ignorant man is controlled by the stars.
-- Hermetic wisdom

With sword and firebrand, races obliterate the records of their predecessors, then inevitably meet with an untimely fate for need of the very wisdom that they destroyed.
-- Manly P. Hall

Salt doesn't burn.
(But it does decompose)
-- C. Masta

Anyway, here goes:

It's funny that [in our modern-day society]...

The layman appreciates not his own worth.

The scientist thinks not for himself.

The slave obeys the richest man.

The richest man lives a poor life.

The poorest man lives a rich life.

The sage hordes his knowledge.

The teacher disillusions his student.

The doctor harms his patient.

The farmer poisons his food.

The lady crushes the gentleman.

The destination is valued above the journey.

The righteous is labeled the heretic.

The most hygienic is among the least clean.

The material is prized beyond its worth.

The substance is ignored or pushed aside.

The illumined is lost in the dark.

***

Excuse my use of all masculine pronouns. If it offends you, please stahp being offended by it.

Lest we allow the law of attraction to fulfill these prophecies, please do note that this is how it HAS BEEN and certainly not representative of how it WILL BE in the near future. Or the present now. Which was the future then. And is now the past. Ahahaha time is a mindphyck.

Later, dweeb (thanks for reading).