It's been almost four months since my last blog post, and today I became an official authorized resident of the Red country (but I still have to get my visa extended tomorrow before I'm good for the rest of the year).
I've wanted to post something scathing a few times since then, but each time, after taking some time to cool down, I decided against it.
Now I feel like I should do a mind dump just in case I forget the important things.
Luckily for you, I have been thinking of some heavy stuff, so you might enjoy reading it.
This dump includes the stuff that you won't find on my social media; some because I wanted to save face, some because I didn't want to be a downer, and some just because it didn't really fit.
Roughly in temporal sequence:
1. Landed in China for the third time
2. Signed my first work contract; got my first real job; pays significantly more than being a chemistry graduate student
3. Overwhelmed by all the women that like me -- I wish I was used to this
4. Overwhelmed by how cheap everything is
5. Almost got hit in the head by a falling mango and realized that I am in paradise
6. Got a single loft apartment in the city center for less than I have ever paid for housing with shitty to pretty good roommates
7. Visited the woman that I intended to marry, my first real girlfriend, in a city about 70 km away
8. Didn't go in for the initial hug/kiss
9. Got in the back seat of a taxi, tried to talk to her, watched her go through her phone and message people
10. Took her to overpriced lunch, didn't make a comment about it being overpriced
11. Got dragged around a shopping mall for an hour in lieu of dropping her off and going home
12. Watched her try on clothes, told her she looked pretty, was secretly glad when she didn't like any of them
13. Went in for the goodbye hug, apparently made her uncomfortable
14. Watched her taxi drive away
15. Walked back to the train station, rode back to Fuzhou
16. Almost made a dream connection on the long walk back from the wrong train station, but phone glitched and the contact was lost
17. Haven't seen my first real ex-girlfriend since, got dumped on Chinese Valentine's Day by WeChat message
18. Realized that she had been lying to me for months, probably had another lover
19. Decided to try a little harder at work
20. Discovered that Chinese women send really weird mixed signals (I guess this is normal)
21. Realized that I don't want a woman anyway unless she is perfect
22. Found one that was perfect
23. Then she moved to a new city with her boyfriend
24. Stopped masturbating nearly every day
25. Now masturbate less than once per week
26. It feels fine
(lol, did not intend for that to be nearly as long as it ended up being, but I guess I needed it... anyway...)
27. Somehow became cheaper than I already was after adapting to new currency
28. Passed one year without a shower, six months without a cigarette, a lot less alcohol (around seven to less than one drink per week), and no Cannabis
29. Stopped drinking coffee; used to have multiple cups per day, now less than two per month
30. It feels fine
(I still drink plenty of tea, in case you were wondering)
31. Noticed that people rarely wash with soap after using the bathroom, and that's okay, however perhaps that's how I have contracted two colds already
32. First Chinese cold only lasted three days from onset to remission (four days to complete remission), despite warnings of horrible, multi-week sickness (the second day was pretty harsh, though)
33. Second Chinese cold also lasted only three days (five days to complete remission); symptoms and duration both considerably more mild than natives' despite inadequate sleep for the first two of the three days
(suck it, western medicine)
34. Genuinely started missing my parents
35. ... But not that much
36. Still feels like paradise
37. Despite what most people say, solitude does not feel the least bit lonely to me; in fact, I prefer it
38. And I still don't really want a girlfriend (unless she is perfect)
39. Noticed that the Chinese Zodiac is much more accurate in China than it is in the US
40. Noticed that perhaps the true Zodiac depends on both the Solar and Lunar calendars
41. Noticed many weird coincidences that would have passed right on by if I hadn't had an eye open to them
42. Noticed that Chinese people tend to call everything in China Chinese even if it is not unique to China
43. Noticed that surprisingly few people can read ancient script
44. Very much appreciate the US for its abundance of non-smoking laws
45. Not sure if there are more inconsiderate people or just more people; probably latter, as there are a lot of extremely considerate people, too
46. Noticed that many Chinese have trouble thinking critically; could also just be because there are more people
47. Got a supremely clutch part-time job teaching Kindergarten -- extremely grateful -- now I'll surely save more than some of my higher-paid friends in the US :] (though the jury's still out on whether I'll ever actually need it)
48. Noticed that way too much Chinese food has MSG in it
49. Tried many new and exciting fruits and vegetables, the most notable of which are listed below:
Orange and Yellow Persimmon -- Fruit of the Gods
Jujube -- God's cherry
Pomelo -- Mamma Citrus
Goji Berry (dried) -- Sunscreen
Lotus Root -- Buddha's sweet potato
Wild Banana -- Behold, the phallus!
Daikon Radish -- This phallus is bigger, but it doesn't show off
Cushaw Squash -- Is this a pumpkin or not? I guess it doesn't matter, but it's damn good!
50. After practicing my trusty Ocarina of Time for at least a few minutes almost every day for the past two months or so, I'm getting noticeably better
51. After practicing my Chinese for at least a few minutes every day, I'm still noticeably bad
52. Still love teaching, and apparently getting a little better at that, too! When your work rarely feels like work, you can learn from it, AND it pays you well, that pretty much means you're a great success!
I could keep on going, but I think I'll just leave on that note :]
